


Broken Logan

by Chi_squared



Category: Sanders Sides
Genre: Anxiety, Dad voice(tm), No Beta, PTSD, Sadness, Suicide, Unsympathetic Roman, ptsd episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23897764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chi_squared/pseuds/Chi_squared
Summary: Logan has ptsd because of “the incident”. His known triggers are: shouting, and being called a robot. There are others, but they don’t come up now.Basically Roman is a jerk because Virgil doesn’t like orange juice and I fight breaks out. Logan tries to help but Roman turns on him. A ptsd episode ensues, but Patton is there to help.
Relationships: platonic Logicality
Comments: 11
Kudos: 44





	Broken Logan

**Author's Note:**

> This isn’t the darkest, but it does get dark. There are implications of suicide, and a lot of shouting.  
> P.s. I have dyslexia, so please pardon any errors.  
> P.p.s. I also have ptsd, and this is derived from my own experiences

Logan knew who he was.  
Logic, curiosity, intelligent, smart, know-it-all, emotionless, stoic, robotic…  
robotic...  
The word tumbled over and over in his mind, like a metaphorical tumble dryer.  
Logan was logic, and he knew it. He was comfortable with most of the labels thrown on him but he could not stand being called a robot. He was ok with being called emotionless, because he didn’t show emotions, that was a logical conclusion. He was ok with know-it-all because, he knew it all. But robotic? He couldn’t stand it. He was not a robot. He couldnt pin down an exact reason why it erked him, and he didn’t have the bravery to talk to Patton about the feeling. Ever since the incident, Logan didnt know how to interpret the thoughts he had. Emile said it was called PTSD, and that it was normal for people like him. What wasnt healthy was the way he bottled everything up.

Patton was where he usally went when in emotional prediciments. Patton was understanding, and he always help, and logically there wasn’t a problem with bringing this problem to Patton, but there was something, or someone in the back of his mind, repeating over and over that he would be a bother. So he didn’t go to Patton. He bottled down the discomfort, and ignored it. Every time he got called a robot, his tolerence for the remark was lowered, but he continued to figuratively bury it. 

One day he had enough. It was a long time coming, and he couldnt handle it anymore. It had all started when virgil had made a comment on the juice at breakfast. Patton had set down some orange juice in front of Virgil, who had admitted several days before that he had never had orange juice. Patton was shocked, but logan understood, virgil hadnt joined them for breakfast until recently, and they haven’t been drinking orange juice. Virgil tried the juice and made a face.  
“Its too sweet, blech, how do you guys drink that?” he cringed, ran to the sink and spit it out. Then he sat the cup on the counter next to the sink and sat back down to eat his toast and eggs. Roman hadnt taken well to virgil leaving the juice.  
“VIRGIL, dont you see how excited pat was? Cant you just be normal and drink the god damn orange juice?” He was loudly protesting, but virgil was having none of it.  
“I said it was too sweet, i dont like the taste of pure malic acid in my mouth at fucking 9 in the morning.” virgil was angry, and the fight was going to escalate. Patton laid a hand on romans arm and quietly tried to stop the fight.  
“Roman, its ok for him to not like it, i understand.” roman was too far gone. He shoved pat away and shouted angrily  
“NO PAT, ITS NOT OK, HE SHOULD SUCK IT UP, AND PRETEND. HE DOESNT NEED TO BRING DOWN THE MOOD ALL THE TIME.” roman was breathing heavily, and logan was looking from Pat, to Virge, to Roman and back. Shouting was one of his triggers, and roman knew that, so logan couldnt understand why he would yell when he was in the room. He was backing away slowly because his legs wouldnt work, when he heard roman shout from far away.  
“IF YOU ARE GONNA BE A MOPEY DOPEY FAILURE, THEN YOU SHOULDN’T COME OUT HERE. JUST STAY IN YOUR ROOM, OR BETTER YET, LEAVE ENTIRELY. I KNOW SOME DARK SIDES, WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A FAILURE LIKE YOU BACK, OR THE SUBCONSCIOUS, I DONT CARE, JUST LEAVE.” Roman looked at virgil with an angry look, and virgil shrunk into himself.  
“Is that what you really think?” virgil asked quietly. Logan was a panicky mess. His heart was racing, and his thoughts were doing the same figurative race.  
“Roman.” logan said firmly, but quietly.” do not ever say such incorrect things ever again.” logan was suprised that his voice wasnt shaky.  
“You do not get to tell virgil to leave, and you kno-” Roman cit him off with another shout  
“WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW OF CORRECT IN THIS SITUATION, LOGIC? THIS IS EMOTIONAL, SOMETHING YOU DO NOT HAVE. A ROBOT LIKE YOU WOULDN’T KNOW A SHREAD WHEN WE TALK ABOUT USEFULNESS.” logan shrunk back at the loud tone.  
“Please do not shout.” this time his voice did waver.  
“NO! IM GOING TO SHOUT. THIS IS A THING THAT REQUIRES SHOUTING, BUT OF COURSE YOU WOULDN’T PICK UP ON THAT, YOU EMOTIONLESS ROBOTIC FREAK. WITH THE LACK OF SUPPOSED PTSD EPISODE, IM BEGINNING TO THINK YOU ARE FAKING THE ENTIRE THING.” logan started to back away again, but roman blocked the door. Out of nowhere a black and purple blur knocked roman off his feet. Virgil had tackled roman.  
“Do. not. Talk. to. Logan. That. way. Ever. again.” virgil was crying slightly, and was trembling from anger.  
“He deserved it.” roman was still loud, but less so. Virgil punched roman in the jaw and then Patton pulled them apart. He was holding virgil by his hoodie, and used his dadTM voice.  
“Roman Prince Sanders. You do not say that in this mindscape. Go to your room. NOW.” he did not leave any room for arguing and roman stalked off to his room. Patton let virgil go and turned to the two remaining sides. Logan was curled on the floor watching the comotion through tears.  
“Virgil, please go to your room so i can deal with logan. Try and calm down, I’ll come to talk to you soon.” virgil slowly walked out of the kitchen to his room. Patton knelt next to logan.  
“Logan, can you hear me?” logan nodded slightly.  
“Can i touch you?” logan shrunk into himself, and then nodded slightly  
“Are you alright to move to the living room and off the hard floor?” Logan hesitated and then nodded. Patton tried to pick logan up, but logan flinched away and screamed at the slightest brush. Patton jerked away, his heart shattered when he heard the broken sound. He wanted to hurt whoever hurt logan. He tried again, this time offering a hand to help logan up. Logan took the hand and stood up shakily. He leaned on the counter and shuffled towards the living room. After a few minutes of shuffling, he was curled up on the couch with a blanket wrapped tightly around him. 

“Logan, can you tell me 5 things you see?” Logan had closed his eyes, but he opened them slightly and struggled to speak.  
“C...couch, fireplace, car..carpet, wind...wind….window, and you” patton smiled slightly  
“Good job logan, 4 things you can feel.”  
“Bl;..bl..blanket, couch, air mov..moving, your ha..hands”  
“Good, now 3 things you hear.”  
“Your voice, hum in the kitchen, he..heart...heartbeat” his voice was slightly stronger this time.  
“You are doing great, 2 things you can smell.”  
“Breakfast, romans cologne”  
“Last one logan, you are doing so well. 1 thing you can taste.”  
“I c..can taste my oran-” logan cut himself off and hid his face as he tensed up  
“It's ok Logan, you are safe here with me, you’re ok. I promise.” logan stayed tense, but he peek out at Patton  
“Promise?”  
“Yes. always.” Patton responded firmly but not unkindly  
“I cant taste... “ logan paused “my coffee from earlier.” logan untensed  
“I'm so proud of you logan. You did it.”  
“Thank you patton, I appreciate the help. I apologise for being a bother.” he uncurled on the couch.  
“No bother logan. I am glad to help.” logan reached out for a hug, but hesitated, waiting for logan to erase the gap between them. Logan leaned into patton's arms and hugged him.  
“Thank you nonetheless Patton”. Patton kissed the top of Logan's head. They stayed like that for a while.  
“No problem kiddo. What do you need now?” Patton finally responded. logan thought for a bit,  
“I'm gonna go to bed, i'm exhausted.” patton smiled  
“That's great kiddo, i'll wake you up for lunch, or you can come to me if you wake up and talk, i'm here for you.” Logan smiled slightly before walking to his room, and collapsing onto his bed. He didn't want to sleep, his nightmares would come back, but he didn't want to bother Patton, so he pulled out the notebook he kept in his bedside table. He always logged his attacks

Monday, september 2, 2018  
Problem: PTSD attack  
Cause: roman shouting, calling me robot  
Length: unknown; around an hour  
Resolution: patton took me through an exercise  
Other notes: talk to emile about all this, it was worse that normal; get exercise from Patton; check in with virgil

End.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know if I’m gonna post them , but I do have other ideas for expanding the story. Please let me know if you want Virgil, Roman, or Patton’s version of the story, or what “the incident” is, etc.  
> thanks for reading!


End file.
